22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat
Here’s another of those unsolicited emails that is worth reading. Like most of the things like this, it isn’t totally accurate, but there is more than a grain of truth in it.
1. You are against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You believe that businesses create depressions and governments create prosperity.
3. You believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iranians and North Korean communists.
4. You believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco or Portland do.
10. You believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
15. You believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
17. You believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You believe that homosexual parades displaying transvestites in drag and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese
Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
22. You believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."