The Wayward Daughter
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cursed her. "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum through?
The girl, crying, replied, "Dad ... I became a prostitute...."
Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless girl! You're a disgrace to this family.
"OK, dad ... as ye wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion, plus a savings certificate for $5 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club... (she takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and ...
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff.... a prostitute, Dad! Sniff, sniff."
"Oh! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant'. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"